I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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