Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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