The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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