At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
