I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
