drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
