So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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