He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
