shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
