i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
