Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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