dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
