im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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