Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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