allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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