Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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