Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
