You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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