your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
