My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
