it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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