You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
