I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
COCAINE IS GR8
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