TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
