Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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