super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
