Define "chronic" masturbator.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
