what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
