I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
