Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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