she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
