Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
