her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
