it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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