This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You pole danced in your parka.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
