Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no you cant smoke seaweed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
