i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
