Christians are straight up FREAKS
high people should be assigned attendants
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
