ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
