Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
