are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
