I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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