i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the day after is always just damage control
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
