Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
