if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
return my video game
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
