WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
