Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
