dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And then my night got REAL pukey
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
