and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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