I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
