I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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