I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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