OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
