Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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