You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
