just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
