Kiss
Puke
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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