She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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