smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize