we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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