ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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