So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
