On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
