Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
PANTIES FOUND
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